We’ve rifled through the clichés and stock standard responses to bring you the good stuff.
We’ll get to all things strange and amusing shortly, but first let’s take a look at some of the major storylines to come out of the day.
DIRK WILL PLAY FOR AT LEAST TWO MORE YEARS, IS NOT A FAN OF FAREWELL TOURS
Dirk told a Dallas radio station he wants to play for at least another two years, the amount of time remaining on his contract.
“If I commit to something, I commit to it fully,” said Dirk, as DeAndre Jordan and his entourage gathered around the wireless to take notes.
Just don’t hold your breath for a farewell tour when it all finally comes to an end.
“That’s the worst thing. When I’m gone I’m gone.”
MARKIEFF MORRIS WANTS TO BE IN PHOENIX, APPARENTLY
Markieff’s outrage stemmed from the Suns trading his brother Marcus, and he made it known publicly. Fast forward to the Suns’ media day and Morris was first player to speak.
That session must’ve been about as awkward as saying goodbye to a friend, only to realise you’re heading in the same direction anyway (conveniently, this doubles as a fitting metaphor for where Markieff and the Suns are at currently).
However, Markieff said all the right things for the most part, saying “I want to be here.” This is essentially the basketball version of George Costanza quitting his job in spectacular fashion, only to show up to work on Monday like nothing happened.
CRAIG SAGER JOINED IN
Craig Sager resonates with sports fans everywhere, and not just because his suits are an assault on the senses. His loveable reporting style and general rapport with players has endeared him to the broader sporting public.
It’s no secret that Sager has been battling leukemia for some time. He overcame it in March, but later that month the cancer returned and the fight resumed.
The best news to come out of media day this year was that Sager was able to be a part of it. Decked out in a typically funky jumper at Houston’s practice facility, a jolly Sager joked around with various Rockets players.
A return date for Sager remains unclear. All we know for sure is that TNT’s broadcasts aren’t the same without him. Since day one his interviews have been as colourful as his attire.
NBA media day, at times a breeding ground for dull questions and cliché answers, is naturally a living hell for one-man journalist wrecking crew Gregg Popovich.
This year Pop decided to kick things off by having some fun, messing with NBA TV’s Jared Greenberg. Popovich is renowned as every reporter’s worst nightmare, as well as a fun loving guy behind the scenes. Today he showed both sides within two minutes of unadulterated trolling, and Greenberg didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
DERRICK ROSE: FAST & FURIOUS
Yes, we’ve heard this before, but new Bulls head coach Fred Hoiberg believes Derrick Rose finally looks like Derrick Rose again. Not from the neck up, of course, just look at that haircut.
Derrick's new hair screams Title pic.twitter.com/v4K9dTAxcX
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) September 28, 2015
Hoiberg has been quoted as saying Rose won’t need nights off the season – he’ll clearly receive them regardless – and has his explosiveness back.
JOE JOHNSON JUST CAN’T STOP RAVING ABOUT BROOKLYN
Joe Johnson claimed to be surprised that Deron Williams wanted out of Brooklyn over the offseason.
“It’s not that bad here,” Johnson said at one point.
Now there’s a quote for Brooklyn’s next free agency recruiting pitch and/or tourism campaign. Johnson’s comment came on the one day of the year where just about everyone is being overly positive and heaping praise on their organisations.
OTHER NEWS AND NOTES
Paul Pierce said he’s willing to take a smaller role in LA, and used the opportunity to take a light-hearted jab at Kobe.
"That will be tough on some guys in L.A. to take on that (reduced) role *cough* Kobe *cough* I mean, you know, we get older." —Paul Pierce
— Kurt Helin (@basketballtalk) September 25, 2015
Frank Vogel prepared himself to hunt down Indiana sportscaster Dave Calabro in the name of this year’s superhero themed ‘Call-A-Pacer’ reading program.
— Pacers Cares (@PacersCares) September 28, 2015
Dion Waiters shared his thoughts on defence, and you’re about to wish he hadn’t.
Dion Waiters when someone asked if he working on D. He replied "Besides Dion it doesn't start with no D"
— Travis Singleton (@SneakerReporter) September 28, 2015
Previously restricted Julius Randle will be let off the leash at training camp and free to bulldoze whomever he pleases.
Frank Kaminsky assured a crowd of reporters that he isn’t weird.
Rick Carlisle, when asked whether DeAndre Jordan would’ve fixed their rebounding problems, said: “If cows were kittens, there’d be a milk shortage.” Turns out, this definitely isn’t a saying. Only Carlisle says it, and boy does he like to say it.
When asked about his compulsory move to power forward this season, Paul George appeared to be about as happy as a sumo wrestler on one of those 12 week body transformation programs.
Bizzare, amusing, cringeworthy and heart warming…another media day is in the books.